>>>#19/6/23 That's it. I am not progressing

 I need to lose weight.  That is the number one challenge.  I will keep on reminding myself to lose weight no matter what.

I almost got it last night.  I slept at 10:00 pm.  However, I woke up at 2:30 am.  That spoils everything.  I ended up sleeping at 3:00 am and woke up at 11:00 am.

So here we are on another Ground Hog Day, trying to figure out how best to stay slim.

The formula is the same with no smoking.  I got to say no often.  As much as I got to say no to BJ and RR, I got to say no to sugar.

Today is the day.  I got to do it without losing enthusiasm.

I know I can beat Dark Depression.  I don't need cigarettes and dope.  Just introduce Hacks Cough Drop.

But first, I have to fight cigarettes and dope.  Once I do that, once I win over these two archnemeses, I am on the road to real recovery (Alanis Morrisette was singing one hand in the pocket, and the other one is flicking a cigarette).

Let's face this 40-odd years enemy.  It is a delusion.  It gives me a little buzz from the first cigarette.  After that, I need to get hit upon hit just to feel normal.  There is no more buzz after that.  The selling point of cigarettes is the subtle dose of nicotine,

The one that gives me the buzz is dope.  My issue with dope is the stuff makes me crazy.

So, the final resolution is neither one of them.

mm