&&&
I am too alert to sleep. Looks like no exercise tomorrow.
No excuse - Do a mall walk.
I am a success as long as I don't smoke cigarettes. The minute I smoke even one puff, straight away I am a loser (the screen went blank for a second). I have an addictive personality.
Never smoke even a puff. Stay away from Nicotine at all costs.
It's a trap. Lying there waiting for you to make ONE small mistake.
You can't get caught up.
You can't be among the walking dead. As long as a person is addicted to NICOTINE, he is a walking dead.
Those smokers are as good as dead. The trap will get you at the [s]end (end) of your life. Without fail.
No, I'm not going to surrender my life to a cigarette. My biggest temptation now is a Surya that costs 80 cents a stick. Very tempting indeed.
I did the lowest deed of my whole li[k]e (life) prior to Ramadan. I took a water-stained cigarette butt that was thrown away and lit it up. Then, I got on the street begging a stranger for a cigarette because the sundry shop that sells the 80 cents a stick Surya was closed.
Shit.
I got caught up by the most insidious killer. That is why, if, on Wesak Day, the Devil was revealed to me and his name is Surya, I believe!
Never in my life, I did anything as demeaning as that.
With everything else being equal, I have to beat the Dark Depression by saying no to cigarettes NO MATTER WHAT.
This has to stop. No, I don't have to wait until 31/12/23.
I decide NOW that on May 4th, 2023, I am 100% none cigarette and pot smoke[r].
I am a winner, I will fight this Dark Depression to the very end. Until my brain learns to regulate the dopamine fluctuations.
To do that I need to run. Running is my remedy. I will insist on a daily basis until I actually run.
Maybe the doctor was right[s]. The prescription was meant for a person who doesn't smoke. As long as I smoke, forever there is a crutch that keeps interfering with my medication dosage.
OK then, the Dark Depression still looms after one month. Let's do two months then.
mm
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