>>>#5/5/23 This is ultimately a battle to stabilize dopamine and insulin

 I'll be the running monk.  We were already agreeable to that.

I need time to adjust.  I need a lifestyle change.

Let's go through this withdrawal once and for all.  Hari Raya is gone.  It is already coming to the second week of Syawal.

All it takes is a maximum of 3 months to stabilize the neurotransmitters.

Many things can cause the backfire:

1.  The medication

2.  The morning gunk

3.  The constant sugar

Basically, I need to detox from sugar.  I have to move quickly from cigarettes.  This is a serious case.  I am hallucinating about smelling cigarette smoke.

That is too much.  If Surya is the Devil, then I will fight cigarettes and sugar head-on.

Fuck...  Metaphors suck.  However, that was revealed to me on Wesak Day.  So Suyra is the Devil.  Who am I to say no?  

There are so many things I don't know.  All I know is I I got to quit cigarettes and sugar, be thin and start running.

I decided to be a man of substance.  Just to myself.  I am not going to meddle with all these weird stories.  None of my business.

My business, I keep close to me.  Just me and my 5 km radius.

So Sarah, if you want to join in, let's explore together.  I am more or less set with my own ways.

Nothing excites me anymore.  This whole thing had been decided.  Humans failed.  That's what the future is telling me.  What a waste of time.

mm