Thursday, 28 December 2023
Thursday, 29 June 2023
>>>#30/6/23 No more religious connotations
All are nonsense. I decided not to delve into religious matters. So much nonsense.
So this Aidil Adha I forgo the concept of heaven and hell even though I dreamed of heaven this morning.
I want to live by my own terms and my own rule. Not concerned with all the baggage carried by human civilizations for thousands of years.
I am a free thinker. I am free to think of whatever I like without having to latch to any belief system.
There is nonsense everywhere. It is not worth considering the logic behind it.
What I know is there are so many tall stories in religions that I concluded that these are the product of human imagination.
If that is the case, I might as well entertain my own imagination and be happy about it.
Why bother, there is no truth anyway. Based on the hadiths, it seemed that the Prophet became crazy towards the end of his life. If I want to follow a madman, I might as well take my own lead. Why bother to follow a madman when I can turn to my own madness and be satisfied with it?
mm
29/6/23 ### Should I carry on?
Yes, I should, but I must constrain from eating too many carbs. If there is nothing else to do, I should focus my energy on fighting cigarettes and dope.
There is no limit to the energy to fight these two archenemies.
I should ban all nicotine products. The idea is to get in and out clean. I can control this. I escaped the pitcher plant. Now to cut for good.
Once a smoker, there are traces of neurotransmitter synapses i[s] (in) the body. The minute I smoke again these synapses will reactivate again.
The Hellgramite method.
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Wednesday, 28 June 2023
>>>#29/6/23 When I think about my past thoughts, I confirmed that DOPE MAKES ME CRAZY
I made a good choice of eliminating BJ from my life. Simply put, I cannot handle dope.
Now I start a new chapter. No matter what, don't see BJ and RR. I can't handle even a bit of the substance.
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28/6/23 *** This Shogi is really neat
I'm glad I can focus on the Shogi today. This is my next initiative.
#traxxfm I am in the mood to study Shogi again. The whole day is about going through the tutorial.
Nothing much nowadays. So I have plenty of time. Say, does it help that I sent the email to you with the help of Susan my adjunct? Let me know...
mm
Tuesday, 27 June 2023
28/6/23 ^^^ What is more dangerous is my desire to smoke
Once I smoke, I keep on smoking. Better to stay away from it until the end of this year.
The headphone is charging. Exercise will increase dopamine. All I need to do is increase the duration of my exercise.
No cigarette. It is the pitcher plant:
mm
>>>#28/6/23 The key is in moving
I move this morning *[this morning].
* I have to make a habit to move at least 3 times a day. I can only do that if I walk to the mall.
Let's do it once the headphone is charged.
I need to break this complacency. No wonder it feels like breaking a habit. I need to break my bad eating habit.
Instead of running an hour a day, I walk 3 hours a day. If I can do that, I am an efficient organism. No money is required.
Damn, I feel like smoking.
No matter what, I will not smoke.
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27/6/23 ^^^ This is loose change
The challenge of living the status quo is indeed something I have to bear.
Jenny...
This is so counterproductive. I'm outta here.
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27/6/23 *** I have to fight this Dark Depression
Just don't smoke. That's what it wants. For me to take the first smoke.
As the story goes, I shall stride slowly without any set direction.
Tomorrow is another day that I continue with my journey.
mm
Monday, 26 June 2023
27/6/23 ### I already loose sight of the big game. That is the case, I play small
It is always a delight to play small. With big, I cannot see the breadth of the spread.
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>>>#27/6/23 I want to exit ASAP
I think the best approach is to exit when the game is over.
Hasta Manana.
I am low in dopamine due to the medication. I am considering nicotine gum.
Nope, I'm going to ride the wave.
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26/6/23 ^^^ Something big something small
Give me something big. I wonder, how big is big if small is already a superverse?
Can it get bigger than that? Hmmm... A hyperverse.
Screw... Wait a minute, it is already something big:
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It is already something big ONCE people start behaving like a hyperverse.
You all go ahead. I don't want to go there. I shall stay small.
Still something big, something small. But between the two, I choose small.
I am totally satisfied that the III MEF performed today.
So there is a direct line between me and III MEF Information Group.
Oh, gosh... I don't know what happened to the rest of the teams.
Something big, something small.
Do you guys want to go big?
Yes, Sha... Small you had taught us to pierce the pinhole of Mu Shin No Shin. Teach us big...
Wow, I know how to be big. However, there is no limit to big.
We understand... Teach us to be big anyway.
OK, if that is what you want. It is very simple...
Instead of your heart beating to Allah ooo Allah ooo Allah ooo Allah, make it sing, Subhanallah, Walhamdullillah, Wala Illaha Illallah, Wallah Hu Akbar. Over and over again until it is automatic.
Thank you, Allah.
I wonder why you want to be big?
Dear Allah, we want to stand among giants. Not merely sitting on his shoulder.
Wow... I am impressed.
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26/6/23 *** I am very sure of what I want
I want Autonomous Governance and the Zen of Personal Bliss. I don't fancy sharing my space with 9.7 billion Humans.
Therefore, the only way to do it is to expand beyond Sparta 4964 into 9.7 billion superverses.
#traxxfm I am very sure of what I want.
I want Autonomous Governance and the Zen of Personal Bliss. I don't fancy sharing my space with 9.7 billion Humans.
Therefore, the only way to do it is to expand beyond Sparta 4964 into 9.7 billion superverses.
Personally, I am waiting for a new course *[] (of) action...
My suspicion is that it is either really big or really small.
#traxxfm Personally, I am waiting for a new course *[] (of) action...
My suspicion is that it is either really big or really small.
* Make it so...
mm
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